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She was selling sea shells on the seashore as she saw him
“I am in a shell” he said .
Contrary to my belief the fact was hard hitting and challenging. Humans are mammals different from mollusks. Only mollusks, clams,oysters, conchs start secreting a shell around them as soon as they hatch right in their larval stages.Humans definitely are not born in shells as they are viviparous and happen to be the stronger species unlike the delicate beings lost in the vastness of ocean. They grow with it and in it , a survival response in order to prevent them from being accessible to the bigger sea predators.This way they avoid their own destruction. But even the strongest of shells and conchs are picked up by the deep sea divers where they are split/broken and the organism inside slayed and packed to be served as a delicacy for the sea food lovers. The shells are collected , sold for decorative purposes and are amazingly beautiful. Some enthusiasts turn into collectors .
The bigger conchs are sold as beautiful conch shells in whom a planned forceful blow magnifies its resonance to create the auspicious Shankh-Dhwani.
How does an empty shell do that ? I think the credit should go to the organism inside which breaths in a shell for an entire lifetime. In the lobes and layers of the conch travels the echo of an existence. The shell has witnessed it all .The noise of playfulness in those live moments and the silence after being stripped of it. The organisms mate by extending their reproductive organs across the next available appropriate shell like a cordial warm handshake. Shells have a purpose to protect and guard the delicate creature of the ocean through this inaccessible exoskeleton.The absence of backbone allows them to curl up further and the growth continues inside the shell. It retreats when threatened and can lay lifeless buried under the sand. Shells are strong , look lovely , curvaceous but they are hard. Some are sharp and spiky which may cut and cause bleeding if grabbed.
Some species have even poison in them so that they can cut and introduce poison in the soft underbelly of the predators which are dangerously close. The organism deposits more of proteinaceous and calcium layers on the exterior while it remains entrapped in a pearly layer inside. In order for the animal to grow the shell has to grow to accommodate its growth.
I had known him briefly outside his shell, on a warm ,lazy sunny day basking in the sun . Perhaps the shelled creature was tired of the ocean bed and sand and he wanted to feel the sky for a change. He was looking at me intently as we connected by shaking hands. The sunlight was shimmering in a myriad display of colors on the surface of the sea and I happened to be there observing the same phenomenon as him . Those were happy days of connection, bonding and laughter leading to bliss. And one day it was all over before I knew. Just the way it started. He had started retreating , going back to his shell slowly . I sensed some fear, and then it became quiet . Disappointingly I asked him to come out and he answered from inside his shell. I am in a shell, he said . I had missed it completely in the sunlight as it brilliantly reflected making it almost invisible. He went back in there while I stood standing.
The question that baffles me still why did he need a shell ?
He was from the earth and not the sea. Like the silent creature he moved further crossing more lobes and curled up tighter. I have waited because I knew he is there. I called in vain only to see his dark shadow retreating further into the innermost sanctum. I sense an uneasy , subtle movement in the shell. The sunlight illuminates his shell at noon and makes me perceive a dense dark shadow confirming me of his presence. Inaccessible and silent with no attempt to come out. So be it.
I have tried to imagine what life in a shell was like ? I had mine too and may be that’s how we connected , two shell struck individuals. I still have some layers stuck to me the hard ones , the harsh ones but I am trying to come out of my own imprisonment. Once you taste life you don’t want to go in back there. Shells don’t allow you growth and liberty of space. I find it difficult to stay curled up in a shell restricting my mobility and growth. I need place to grow beyond my own limitation and know my own dimensions and expand. I need to stretch my own potential and see where my life takes me. I need to connect. I am done with retreating ,curling and hiding. I dislike invisibility and dark confusing inner corridors and sanctums.
Shells have tumbling movement initiated by the organism inside and move very little. They are heavy as hell and I really can’t carry mine anywhere. I now want my liberty to move to any place and direction depending what life offers me at that moment. I want to fly.
Shells are entrapments. A human being is born free. His existence can’t be limited in the cage of an exoskeleton even if it is self-imposed. He /she needs to experience freedom of ideas, thoughts and actions. He /She needs to stand up and face his challenges. Irrespective of the layers we have secreted over the years and shells we have around ourselves in order to stay protected in the world , life the biggest predator is looking for us. Life ultimately will get to us even from the safest confines. It is looming outside, hunting for us , sniffing ,calling ,waiting to come out and create our real experiences of joy and not fear.
Shells come in a variety of different shapes and sizes especially the human shells. The shells of big bungalows are lonely as hell for the aging parents in king size bedrooms.
The loneliness and dependency is uncomfortable. Shells of “I ,me and myself “, shells of belonging to a certain class or group , shells around my profession, shells of most muscular fit bodies, shells of perfect matchless beauty, shells of addiction , shells of false joy, shells of financial security, shells of achievements you name it . This is where humans surpass the sea animals. Blame their intelligence for they face more than what the sea organism faces so they can build a shell around every emotion they fail to feel. They retreat and curl then forgetting that they have a backbone and can rise up every time .
Shells are hollow and brittle at places where the layers are laid and can crack there. That’s where the fear creeps in. Constant knocks and blows, the tumbling, tossing and twisting shakes up our belief in ourselves. We think of ourselves as mollusks and forget the resilience and strength of being human who is all capable at all times. A whole life passes retreating , becoming inapproachable, deprived of real bonds and connect.
Shells lack warmth and light and are eerily quiet. They echo back. And if one has sat trapped in fear one can imagine what is magnified ? What kind of resonance would it create even if inside the shell. And does a human need the spikes and the poison in his shell at all. A human being is born soft , sweet and tender yet the spikes of harshness, sarcasm, cynicism judgements, lies, mistrust to cut those who are around him ,wanting to get close, care.
Unlike the sea animal caught and slayed the inner layers of deep seated emotions of humans loses its sweetness to become bitter and later poisonous to self. The poison kills him slowly as it dissolves in the murky waters where one has grown to be comfortable. Human beings at this stage when shelled need a fresh lease of life. A dire need to break open from their shells and feel the light all round. Learn to make noise outside the shell so that the world can hear. Live and feel and have every experience meant for us the good, the bad the ugly .
Who knows if not a mate one may find a companion, a friend , a support , a special someone who needs nothing from you except those moments in sunlight by the seaside. And that’s just life in a nutshell.
