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The virgin is sought on the day of Kumari Pooja (1) on the eighth day of Navratri(2). She roams around hiding attired as the small girls at their glittery best to feast and to bless. She is overhyped that day. And overnight something changes. Few drops trickling in her body as her womb awakens heralding the birth of the child-woman. The Youvan (3) described in the poetic and romantic references is here to befriend her. Some celebrate her “becoming” while some prohibit her for days as she becomes clean enough to be welcomed back into the pious corners of the house just to light an oil lamp which is otherwise an everyday ritual for her. She stays in the sleepy confusion never questioning the beliefs soon to be impressed upon her, some scientific and some plain right superstitious. She is believed to be vulnerable, yet attractive enough for the evil forces and needs to be resting those days.Vulnerable and attractive enough to be the pleading Draupadi(4) dragged in the Rajya Sabha, when she is Rajasvala(5)that Lord Krishna has to rescue her from her shame while the layers of her clothing assemble in a heap of shame amidst the ego clash of the mighty. A woman sometimes held solely responsible for the massive destruction and birth of an epic “Mahabharata “full of characters standing for truth and those against it.
The code of conduct has always persisted along with age old generational beliefs passed on by mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers which may or may not serve the women of 21’st century. She fears to question them as they are deeply rooted in her DNA. Nobody has told her though that she could create her own. It is only somewhere during her own imminent awakening that these rigid bonds uncoil to reveal her truth to herself and she knows herself for the very first time.
The participation in sex is low so it may not be very accurate to call it a sexual challenge by definition in the early stages unless the beasts have feasted upon lecherously on the immature bodies of the unfortunate ones. The ones caught off-guard in their childish innocence. Lured or forced till there softness is massacred and they were left for dead or dead enough till they learn to live again. Scarred faces, bodies and souls with gory tales and the challenge is then to restore the fleshiness through the traumatized experiences. SHE acquires her own taste of self as her bosom attains soft feminine curvature and the hips and thighs broaden over her child like waist getting refined and defined with each advancing year in her puberty. Her feminine figure unique to her is being painted with hormonal brushes as she learns to caress, touch and smell herself for the very first time. She is now touching her mother’s shoulders and fitting into her sandals. The child woman is beginning to get attention.
She likes what she sees in the mirror unless those around her begin to comment, compare and reject her for her traits. The traits that are her absolute right, her “Streedhan “ (6)passed on womb to womb. She the heiress of it all whether she likes it or not. Somewhere along, she begins to realize that the young gentlemen she has grown up with are also growing soft mustaches and becoming tall and muscular. Some men and women do not find her as pretty as she thought herself to be.
She is learning about labels. From too thin – too fat, too flat- too big, too plain-too sexy, too hot -too frigid, too proud- too shy, too fair- too dark, too pretty-too ugly, too educated-too uneducated , too simple-too difficult, too tall- too short, so many too’s. The too’s haunt her especially those that she wants to escape from. These are the “too’s” that will ultimately become her sexual challenges in the years to come. Some too’s that are of her mother and grandmothers. The one that she will need to heal from depending on how she has been projected by those around her and how she has perceived them. A small scar over a perfect flawless face will bother some while others will be haunted by their biggest shame silenced in the deepest crevices of their bodies. She is still in the process of deepening a sense of her feminine self and a discovery mode till she will meet her match. Someone who will be as lost as her. Its only through the lost and immature she will learn for the mature ones are likely to manipulate her since they know her power that she herself is unaware off.
She needs to learn new behaviors as she learns to distance herself from men of the family so that she can understand boundaries when she grows up. She will be denied her father’s lap and he will withdraw himself when hugging her as she is growing up. He is witnessing the transformation of the baby in his lap slowly becoming a child woman. The brothers slowly stop indulging in childhood games involving bodily contact and she has to get comfortable with that masculine retreat. The touch that made her feel alive, protected and nurtured is slowly leaving her. She has to let them slip into roles of protectors. The conversation hovering around her anatomy will be soft whispers and discussions around her physiology and how she is supposed to function in the next part of her life predominate. Her norms and boundaries will be laid and she is expected to abide by them. She is fully entrusted in the care of the female members who will now teach her their ways. The way they learnt.
Her yin is still underdeveloped and this is the stage when the yang separation has already begun in her world outside and her division begins without her knowing. She learns to get comfortable learning to hook her bra, her top attire now complemented with a chunri (7) or a stole, while she is still unaware of the power of her cleavage. The men will eventually teach her that when she catches them adjusting their own gaze and focus on her face instead hoping she did not notice. She starts to understand that her body is slowly transforming attaining magnetic power for the opposite gender to engage with her. While she is being distanced from the safe men in her familial circles, she is in close proximity of those that do not feel safe. She has to learn to protect herself from the shy ones who lust hungrily for her but would never dare, bold ones that approach her like thunderbolt that she is scared, the rogue ones who have touched her and gone with a wink and a sleazy smile in crowded places, the repelling ones that want to get too close and personal, those that want instant gratification and those who promise to cherish her but use her instead.
She will be savored a little by everyone depending on whose intent was what? She is touched, felt, groped, silenced, taught, mocked, molested by many before she will meet the man who will shape her sexual destiny. Her innocence irrespective of her experience, her submission, her virginity, her honesty, her eagerness to merge is her ultimate gift to the man she would build her life around with. This is her sacredness she will offer but not once she will question if the man carried enough vital force in his “Hara “(8)to match a woman that has bled for centuries. Her challenge will be to differentiate between the good blood and bad blood.
Nature is making her presentable and attractive in her own ripening. She is shy inside irrespective of how bold she appears to be. She is hardly in control of the body anyway as the estrogens turn her skin soft and make her cheeks flush. The pretty young women are dreamy as her eyes learn to talk and lips learn to quiver. She thirsts for more knowledge about how her body is going to serve her and the other while conversation begin around the word “SEX “. She knows she is meant for a purpose.
A purpose of creation.
Procreation and recreation are still confusing to her.
Recreation defined as an activity of fun and pleasure in this context of Sex is to be attained bodily in which she has no experience or poor expertise. She only knows that it is an exhilaration of some sort till she experiences and enjoys it for the first time.A natural act that revitalizes every organ through the happy hormones that get released into each experience of the body. A physical bliss which had been carefully preserved, delayed or denied while her hormonal havoc possessed her under familial and societal norms. The great experiences demanding “once more “till something perfect is attained. An insatiable thirst of the body dependent on the other. The ecstasy, the desire, the connection the body seeks with another human being, the sheer give and take till the experiences begin to explode or fade. The challenge here is to meet the other lost soul who comes with his own imagination and requirements of bliss. The one who himself has been programmed to dominate, to hurry, to push and pull at his own will, to give him an impression that it is HE who controls.
Experimentation begins, various menus tried and tasted, mistake made, regrets lived, indulgences, addictions, one-night stands and all kinds of perversions that exist. What one wants is exactly what the other may or may not deliver!
The differences and judgements beginning to emerge based upon body anatomy, preferences, desires, peaks, performances, frequency each presenting a challenge to one to take the other on his chartered flight. It is the place where real sexual alchemy begins based on what needs get met and what remain unfulfilled with remote control in the hands of other. Sex unravels its own truth of beauty and bitterness with physical and mental perversions and addictions causing bodies to bear insults silently. Till bodies start rebelling inside not to take it anymore till they purge, separate, purify and find peace. The essence of a union progresses beyond the exercise of sweat and salt and the hungry bodies realize that bodies are not enough to keep the attention and love intact. There is more to alchemy.
The path to Procreation does travel through lanes of recreation whether intended or not, the way as nature has designed human bodies HIS and HERS. It demands for participation in the process centered in her heart and body for her partner to feel his domination the way nature has designed HIM to be. An exchange of sexual energy for the purpose to procreate, to keep existing, to satisfy the demand of EGO to continue for the sake of species preservation.
Another challenge that a woman keeps encountering is procreating when recreating and landing up with more guilt, anger and responsibility than she can handle. And if sexual activity is designed bearing the heavy burden of procreation meant for a definite outcome which one partner may not be able to support (most likely a woman when it comes to infertility, abortions and other medical issues), she eventually lands up with a psychological dysfunction arising through a perfectly functioning body. Sex then tends to become a dull exercise minus the pleasure. A challenge then begins to return to her natural free flowing state of her body able to experience pleasure neither for just recreation or procreation. Sex as sex is with no labels and concepts around it.
The initial part of her sexual journey is akin to her dipping and getting her feet wet. Her experiences that define her can be highly gratifying or unsatisfying. It is through them that she seeks, learns and evolves. As she encounters her own potential the girl child in her slowly retreats paving way for the woman she is meant to be. She births herself too through her moods as she gets stereotyped into labels of happy, sad, thirsty, raunchy, successful, satisfied, dominating, submissive, controlling, manipulative, bitchy, slutty, holy, able, disabled, weak, strong, peaceful, spiritual, widowed, divorced, spinster, married, vamp, beautiful, ugly, dark, hundreds of them. The label that she has to choose and try, reject or accept.
She does not want to be fancied by a man involved in a boring bodily exercise but searches in her partner for a man who is willing to honor her needs and desires beyond the body. The one that her soul seeks.
