My dad didn’t want to die even after consuming one of the most lethal poisons. He knew what he was consuming. He was a Chemistry post graduate, a fantastic teacher who demonstrated to me mouth parts of Cockroaches late at night and catching them for me when one odd fellow would be out looking for food.

He made wax treys for me to pith the frog and dissect him. He used solutions which would least hurt them.

He would draw, record and label them .His was the most tidy science journal I have ever seen in my whole life to date.

Learning science does have a disgusting side to it. It means having the courage to hold what you are fearful about and then dissect it out and peep inside and know the truth and then the facts are imprinted ,digested and never forgotten.

Dad had dissected his life out in his mind . Battling grief of his young son with no respite in sight, his elder daughter’s bitter divorce battle and constant threats from land mafias at that time over his own property, he just lived in his suitcases with a heavy pile of paperwork travelling to Allahabad High court frequently. Poor man was simply exhausted with the effort to live and bear as bearing life means living with a certain pain that his life situations brought. His helplessness to hold himself must have reached a peak to end his life on 22’nd July 2009.I wonder what penalty is there for the Indian judicial system who still is majorly responsible for extended trauma in people’s life by overextending the delivery date of much denied justice that can give them much needed relief. Some of us don’t have to commit murders or do acts of crime but we bear the cross of other’s mala fide intentions and pulled into battles of protecting our valued assets and loved ones feeling threatened, insecure and traumatized inside.